Autobiography
IORI KIKUCHI
Chapter3 Art and I / You and I
It was my best friend, A, who inspired me to enter the world of expression. I admired his dazzling figure and followed him. Then I met many people through my expressions.
Art and I
There was another figure that drew me into the world of painting, Claude Monet. When I was about ten years old, I often learned how to draw by playing a game called Egokoro Kyoshitsu (Art class). It was a real game that explained briefly about art history and helped me learn how to draw and color. Then, I fell in love with one painting. It was called Impression, Sunrise. I did not even recognize that the painting was by Monet at the time. I just fell in love with it. I felt the same emotions when I first saw a cherry tree's expressive wonder in full bloom. I was attracted by something I could not name about that tree. I was totally into the personality and talent of the artist who had created the marvelous Impression, Sunrise. As a child, I intuitively said, “I love this!” Through this game, I learned that being a painter is a real profession. Then I became interested in how Monet became a painter. I found out only later that Monet was quite famous. He was one of the pioneers of impressionism. It was then that I realized that this painting I fell in love with gave rise to that historical movement that changed the face of art forever. When I also found out later, that his paintings had the power to bring a new perspective to art history; I became smitten with his paintings and himself even more. Artists can tend to have a somewhat crazy image associated with them. Yet Monet also found the time to fall in love, have a family, and make a successful name for himself with his paintings. I admired this life. I wanted to fashion my own life after Monet. I knew that I had the love to be an artist, but I also knew that I desired to succeed in the profession.
I admired Monet so much that I studied painting in earnest. First, I wanted to hone my skills. That is when I discovered a culture center. I decided to go to a watercolor painting class that was for older adults who had retired. The average age of the students around me was about seventy-five years old, and I was the only one learning at age twelve. I was amazed at how well the old people’s hobby range of painting seemed very professional. The teacher was also a working artist who graduated from the Tokyo University of the Arts. He taught me the art of painting as well as he did the adults. I loved that environment and always looked forward to the lessons every other Sunday. As a result of this experience and instruction, I learned how to paint in earnest for three years in junior high school.
I always wanted to learn at where Monet did. This was never possible for me, but I attended a high school in Paris where I could learn French. I went to France for the first time in the spring of my freshman year of high school. It was also the first time I could finally see that painting of Monet’s. I was able to see Impression, Sunrise in person! I was so moved that I cried. I tried to calm down, but I could not stop crying and the security guards supported me and took me to a rest area. That is how affected I was by this painting, and eventually all of the other paintings that were created during this period. There was a light in that picture that was completely different from what I had seen on the screen in the game. It was the first time I had ever cried looking at a painting, which surprised me.
In the end, I did not go to a university in France; I went to school in New York. Many of the current artists also studied art history from the masters. But even now, Monet remains my most devoted inspiration. I wish I could paint like him. This world I am living as an artist is best described as a once-in-a-lifetime experience. There is no one place where things stop. In the midst of the constant movement of things, I traced one encounter or thought after another, which might be a moment, or even a lifetime. Whenever I think back on them, I wonder what kind of heavy, intense days they must have been. Through my experiences abroad, I have had so many other encounters through Monet and his works that I cannot even describe them all. I still want to live in the world of expression. I am very happy to have met and embraced this world. Somewhere in the real world, we are all living in our own time, doing our own thing. The people I have met through art in the past have this similar sense of awareness. We may work together again someday, or we may never meet again. The world is small and also broad.
You and I
Whether it is called happiness or just a moment of forgetfulness, each person is living in one body and at one time alone. There is no everyone here that is all inclusive.
It is impossible to completely understand what the person in front of us sees in his mind’s eye. Maybe that is what makes the person who they are or what they are, to themselves and to others, in this place where countless people have lived and breathed. Being alone is fine. Yet if you are alone, you are not immune to happiness, because it takes many forms. You do not have to try to fit in with the happiness that the word “everyone” entails. You do not have to deny that you are “alone,” and you do not have to hurt yourself because of it.
If your ultimate goal is to convey a message, then your paintings will become merely secondary actors subordinated to the background. I want the painting to be the final goal. I cannot have a narcissistic motivation that I want to paint something for your sake. But I paint and create something that you may see true self, you in front of my painting, as if there was a chair reserved only for you.
I am very happy that my paintings are reflected in your eyes. I feel like I have meant something to you, when I see your eyes squint and strain to pull something out of what you are seeing. Or when you light up with an open smile, or even when your face may turn down from tears. For then I know that you can meet you.