INDEX

CHAPTER 1: Everlasting Memories

CHAPTER 2: My Work and Its Goals

CHAPTER 3: Art and I / You and I

JAPANESE

Chapter 1 Everlasting Memories

I suppose it is a kind of nostalgia. Looking back at my past, I realize I have encountered many people. Among them, there are two memories that led me to dedicate myself to the world of expression.

I find the word ‘best’ is difficult to use. It shouldn’t be simply used because I feel it suggest everything but ‘the best’ is inferior. Though I have this kind of relationship with the word, I have someone I regard as my best friend. Let me call him A here.

I met him when we were five. Now I see the relationship I had with A as the main reason I wanted to become an artist. A already had his dream of becoming an actor when he was three. He was already working as an actor when he was five years old. I loved his physical posture, his sense of justice, and his real sincerity. A became my role model, and the more time I spent with him, the more I realized what I wanted to do with my own life. He inspired me so much that I also wanted to live like him, and pursue my dream from a young age.

Later, however, in the same year that I met him, his family had to move to another city. I was shocked by this news, and then when he actually moved, I became saddened by the reality of this sudden change in my life. I knew that I would miss him terribly, yet after a time, I gave more thought to what his wonderful presence meant to me: having dreams and then pursuing those dreams. He made promises to me that one day we would see each other again; and that he would be a top expressionist or entertainer. Just before he left, he asked me, ‘what is your dream?’ Not being able to answer the question made me feel sad. I was disappointed in myself. Yet, instead of saying, “I do not know,” I told him that, “I want to be like you, someone who is passionate, active, and has lots of energy to fulfill a specific dream, and who makes others have great inspiration too.”

Nevertheless, at that time, neither of us had any email addresses to exchange. I believed that we would meet again in the future, and I still believed this until a short time ago when I turned twenty. I was forced to face the sad fact that I would never hear from him again.

I never heard from A again. After I turned twenty, I had accidentally run into B, A’s best friend. B told me that A was no longer with us in this world. A had died in an accident when he was fourteen and saved B’s life. I couldn’t immediately comprehend what it meant. I was deeply shocked. Looking back on it now, it was probably A who brought B to me. I do not know if it was a coincidence or inevitability, but if this meeting has meaning, if I am destined to have known this painful reality of A, then I will love and cherish the memories I had with him even more. Even as I start to forget them in my old age, time will continue to make the memories even more precious and beautiful in my mind. Somehow, I was going to have to find a reason to live, but it was not going to be easy.

I can no longer remember that beautiful face so vividly, and I continue to live in this world. But that radiance and that beauty will live in my heart forever.

Today, I express my outpouring of love from my right hand. Someone once said, “Memories are the depth of love. The deeper you love, the more you remember him/her.”